DAY 20

Yo yo peeps, look who's made a comeback! So it's DAY 20 today since I decided to quit smoking. It's been quite a journey till now. You might be wondering what happened to the days in between. Nothing did. I was just lazy. Some days were busy, other days not so much. I somehow just didn't feel like writing. Why I felt like writing today - there's no special reason for that either. I just thought it would be a total waste to not continue this, since I do like to write these blogs. I had decided to be consistent in writing these blogs; and in every other thing, like dieting and home work-outs etc. But well, clearly, that didn't work out.

Being consistent is rather hard. I thought I was stronger than this, that once I was determined to do something I would do it no matter what. But I suppose I really am not. I am a weak pathetic human, just like most others. But I think that maybe, what really makes a difference is when you're determined not to give up. So, I am not going to give up on blogging. Even if it's not everyday, even if it's not once in 2 days, at the very least it'll be at the end of every 2 weeks. It'll mostly be when the time is convenient; but I shall not give up.

Sometimes I wonder that it might be that I am taking too much upon my plate at a time. Starting to blog, quitting smoking and losing weight; all 3 of these tasks involve making significant changes to one's life independently. So trying to do all these 3 together can be seen as quite the mammoth task for someone like me, who doesn't have any inherent industriousness. But I can explain. If I were to do only one of these 3 at a time, I think I would've gotten much more demotivated at each individual temporary moments of weakness, resulting in overthinking and quite some negative self talk, self hate, mental breakdowns and an overall phase of low productivity. But while doing all 3 of these together, a single moment of weakness in either 3 cases isn't such a huge source of demotivation. The small wins in the other tasks still motivate me to not give op on the third task. Hence, I suppose it's a good thing I am trying to do all 3 together.

Now coming to some real details. My dieting has been going well. The home-workouts have been pretty inconsistent, but it's been easier to wake up at 6 lately, even though I don't always work-out after getting up (ngl, it's damn cold in the mornings). My overall daily schedule has improved a lot. I make sure I get enough shut-eye, I make sure I drink enough water, and I make sure (mostly) that I get just enough calories inside me. Yep there are times when I cheat. But I definitely am not rewarding any of my random cravings to have burgers and pizzas (which probably were the major contributor to my weight gain). Dieting is really going to get on track after my gf leaves town. I have been consistently hitting my target of 7000 steps every day. So as far as health goes, things are mostly on the manageable side.

I am sure y'all have been actually just waiting to know what happened to my smoking vows. Well I am not going to lie. They were broken by a few bong shots on the weekends. But hey! No cigarettes! I am sure that counts as something. Smoking is definitely under control now. Having said that, I know how big of an excuse that sounds like, and I agree that it is one. I am still striving for cold turkey and I will achieve it in a few days. I thought I was over cravings and chewing gum on DAY 6. But how I was wrong. I still chew gum to drive my cravings away when people are smoking around me; and it still works. Either way, I consider this as a small win. From 5 joints a day to maybe 4 bong shots in 10 days (which is equivalent to 1 joint), I think I have come a long way. But there's still a-ways to go. And as I have already mentioned, I'm not giving up.

That's it for today. Wish me luck for the days to come. Hallelujah!