DAY 4 - 6

I'm back in action today, but not for long. Today's blog is going to be relatively short. Apologies for not writing the last few days. In retrospect, though, my days were really hectic, and tiring, and I really didn't have the energy to write the blogs; and the same goes for today. In a nutshell, I won these 3 battles.

Following up from my loss on DAY 3 on which I succumbed to my cravings and smoked a quarter of a joint, I am really happy to mention that I haven't touched cigs or j's for the last 3 days. DAY 3 made me feel so guilty that I couldn't sleep that whole night. I was either doing some office work or watching some stuff or doing some other myriad bullshit. Finally I went to sleep that night at 5:30 am (very very unhealthy as any fitness coach would say). My energy levels were consistently low on DAY 4, but I made a lot of personal progress regarding taking my personal health seriously. As I had mentioned, I wanted to get into fitness, hence I took the subscription of a fitness app which designated me a dietician and a fitness coach to target fat loss and overall fitness improvement. More on this later. DAY 4 didn't really register for me. I was feeling so tired by 9 pm that I had no choice but to retire to my bed and sleep. Cravings weren't so strong. A few pieces of chewing gum were enough to keep them at bay; and the guilt helped too. I knew if I smoked on DAY 4, I would be a complete failure in my own eyes. That realisation definitely helped a lot.

On DAY 5, I had pre-decided to take a chill day. But as fate would have it, I was woken up early morning by the sound of my phone ringing. It was one of my colleagues; and the moment I saw the name, I had a very good idea about what might have happened. Production was down! Ugh! Well anyway, I didn't even get time to brush my teeth until 3 hours later (~11 am), till the issue was fixed. Interestingly, a very minor part of the issue was actually what I was responsible for and that had taken exactly 10 minutes to fix; but there was another issue, and the person responsible (and with the relevant knowledge and accesses) for it was my flatmate. And as you know he is out on a trip. So I had to stay on slack calls for the next 3 hours to fix it. I don't hold that against him though, he is one of my best friends and works even harder than me. He completely deserves the fun that he's having right now; not to mention how it's helping me :3. Either way, so after 11 am I actually started my day; got fresh, had breakfast (cornflakes, milk and honey, yum), binged on an anime (whose season 3 had been recently released, and I was rewatching the earlier ones to remember, lol) and then it was 7. 1 gum was enough for that time period.

You can figure out that it was New Year's Eve - and of course I had plans. My GF came over around 7 pm, and we had some fun at my place. I had booked a couple's reservation in a very nice brewery cum restaurant by the name of Clock Tower at 9. So we colour coordinated our attires (ngl I couldn't believe that I could look so nice, leave it to my GF to sort these things out; and she was looking absolutely stunning) and left for the restaurant. We had the time of our lives there. Special shout-out to the rose beer I had there, I am in love with just the smell of that fresh beer. She doesn't like beer that much in general and had a glass of coke instead; she's crazy for coke. The reservation included a buffet, and we had some great food and the hours passed by without us noticing and it was finally 1. She kissed me in the middle of the restaurant to usher the new year into our lives till I couldn't blush any harder. People were smoking all around us though and my brain did think once or twice that it was New Year's and I could let go a little. But she threatened me that she wouldn't talk to me if I did and that was that. All in all, we had a lot of fun; and food; and drinks. We both drunkenly watched as people danced in alcoholic stupor and exchanged a few hearty laughs as people tripped over themselves, and made bets on who among the dancers would reach the restroom to empty the contents of their stomach first. At some point of time, we decided to come back to my place, where we snuggled up with each other in the midst of light relaxing music and slept like babies. 

And then came DAY 6 aka today. I woke up with severe toothache, and the pain was so much that my brain just auto-booked an appointment with a dentist even though all I could see through my half opened eyes was haze. The appointment was for 2 hours later, and for some time I was wondering how I would hold on till then. But the pain subsided, not to worry. I woke my GF up, we both got fresh and I put her on the cab to home, while I left for the dentist. At the dentist's, I had to have a teeth X-Ray taken - which I thought was honestly pretty unnecessary (more context on this later)- and doctor told me that the issue was due to the structure of my teeth, and recommended that I get root canal done as a temporary solution, but teeth realignment was the only permanent solution. Otherwise I would need painkillers to relieve myself of the pain, and it would keep coming back as it was a structural issue. Root canal by the way is a really expensive affair, lol, and it would have cost me 20000 bucks for 3 teeth (an exorbitant amount); so I chose painkillers. Then I came back home, ordered the medicines in the prescription and tidied up my home. I had two meetings with my dietician and my fitness coach regarding diet plans and workout plans; and I am feeling very upbeat about the prospects. It will be great to finally have the body I want and some modicum of control over my life and choices. Most of my time passed trying to chalk up goals and plans for this year after which I watched and episode of The Boys (this is an amazing series, highly recommended, but do watch it only if you've the heart to accept some hardcore bloody action and nasty realistic corporate politics) on vc with my GF. 

Today, I had literally no cravings at all, no gum was needed; and I feel like that is a very nice achievement and also a very nice day for that to happen. Guess why? Because my flatmate is coming back from his trip tomorrow and not having the urge to smoke should help quite a lot in controlling myself from not relapsing. Also it is DAY 7 tomorrow, the last day with the most probability of relapsing, so I'm going to be extra careful. I think I will be able to do it though; even though I really can't imagine how people might try to pressure me into relapsing (it's kinda scary). Well I'm really sleepy now. And there's office tomorrow. I am expecting a shoe-rack from a colleague as a late secret santa gift lol, which is definitely something to look forward to because both my flatmate and me have very nice shoes and they get dirty very easily die to the lack of a shoe-rack and also an utter lack of conscientiousness in both of us regarding such things. So the real test starts actually from tomorrow, where office colleagues who don't know that I've decided to quit smoking will be demanding my presence at the cigarette point downstairs every 3 hours. 

A noteworthy incident. One of my friends and supporters who reads my blogs religiously was very disappointed with me due to what happened on DAY 3 and really called me out for it. To her, I am really sorry to have disappointed you so much and believe me, I was very disappointed with myself too about it. I am very happy she's so invested in my improvement and I thank her for her participation and support. She asked me to go smokeless for the next 4 days, and 3 of them have already passed, and I can assure that I will beat her challenge with flying colours. I shall go smokeless for at least 4 more weeks, so hold on dear. Love all my readers and the feedback I am getting from them, It is positively very enlightening and joyous; and never in my life did I think that people would display so much interest in my story. Thank you all and love you all.

PS: My GF told me that she was very inspired by me writing blogs for this purpose and hence she had started it too. And I find that amazing and very serotonin releasing. Alright so, that's for today. Signing off... Happy New Year readers! It's 2024 now! I hope everyone has a great, successful and prosperous life this year and for the rest of their lives too.