DAY 2

Hi there again. Little recap for those who don't have the time to look at DAY 1, this is the ongoing experience of me trying to quit smoking - both cigarettes and the green grassy magic, marijuana. Well, as I have mentioned in the earlier blog, I am going cold turkey - why? - because the more normal method of tapering consumption gradually didn't work for me the last 2 times I tried it.

Before I delve into my experience of today, I would like to share a little tidbit. The pen-name "Mr. Nothing" might have slightly piqued your curiosity. Don't worry, I won't leave loose ends.

Well, for additional context, I am a self aware over-thinker and a perfectionist - ofc not medically diagnosed but rather self professed (do what you will with that) - just like most of you. Sometimes I think and over-think minute details in a bid to be perfect regarding my daily tasks, and most of the times the detail in question is just not worth the time taken or the number of brain cells employed to think about it. 

Since I am aware of this, I decided I wouldn't think about my pen-name for more than 2 minutes and just go with whatever came into my head in that time frame. And, obviously, I came up with nothing (punny much?). So that's that...

Alright, so here goes DAY 2. All in all, it was easier. I had an extended date planned with my GF. I woke up, suppressed my urge to smoke while I did my morning chores. It wasn't that big of a challenge; just dived into the numerous Instagram reels my friends had sent me. GF came over to my house, we had tea and sandwiches, and enjoyed the 5th episode of House M.D. (Damned if you do); after which we went to an arcade centre. Bowling was super fun (I lost, twice), we had cheesy nachos and pizza for lunch, and we tried the shooting range (quite the dismal performance by both of us - 1/10 by me and 0/10 by her). Then we went to a mall, got relaxing head massages from an expensive salon, had great bao and dumplings in a Thai restaurant, and then it was time to part. Any urge to smoke up was drowned by the fun I had - why it was so much fun deserves more context which I will share later. On the way back home, a travel of about an hour, cravings started to increase. I was super tempted to ask the driver to stop at a cigarette shop, but decided not to. I reached home and immediately popped a gum in my mouth and completed a few pending office tasks. 

Then I started wondering that if quitting was so easy, why was there so much hue and cry about it. I started researching and found out a few things. If a quitter is isolated from smoking triggers, physical or social, it's easier. But that doesn't generally happen, does it? I am blessed that my flatmate and smoker friends are out on a trip, giving me 5 days of isolation from aforementioned triggers. Also, alarmingly, most people trying to quit smoking relapse between 4 - 7 days (holy f). A shiver passed down my spine thinking about the fact that there's a high chance of me failing to quit right after New Year's - damned if I do (since I know already). I feel most people know the self-hate that's generated when you fail something even after you know what you had to do to not fail. Anyway, finger's crossed.

Earlier, it was a pseudo-necessity for me to smoke up before indulging in fun experiences like the one I had today, so I was scared things wouldn't be so much fun today. I am glad that it was. It's 11:07 pm now and I am happy that DAY 2 wasn't so hard. BUT, the real challenge is yet to come. Hopefully, blogging every day about my experience will be helpful in whatever way to overcome it. Since this is my second post, I am open to a subset of judgement now - called constructive criticism. Super grateful to my GF again for making the day easier for me, and to all the supportive friends who I showed the first blog to for feedback. I was super conscious about it, and it makes me really happy that I've got friends who are understanding, encouraging and have continued the friendship despite my many shortcomings. To those friends who I didn't show it to, this doesn't mean that you aren't understanding, just that I am not. Peace out!